Jonathan Fry: January 2005

Look at the state of that!

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Puddled

Debbie puddled

Not puddled

Jon not puddled

Went to bed for a quick catnap at about 11.30pm and managed to sleep until 3am so now I'm in big trouble! "Jon, Jon, what's the time?" Debbie shouts. "oladifhoa nvsdlknco weruwoid fepwmclk wpipofew" I reply still wondering what planet I'm on!!

For anybody who doesn't know what "oladifhoa nvsdlknco weruwoid fepwmclk wpipofew" means, it's Jon speak for let me go back to sleep!

Worrying Rise in Police Crashes

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The Daily Express exclusively reveals today another worrying rise in Police road crash victims. Safe Speed says training standards are to blame.

Just 12 or 15 years ago, Police Class One drivers were the most highly trained drivers anywhere. The Police driver training establishment set standards that were the envy of the world. "Hendon trained" was a description that immediately demanded great respect in dozens of countries.

But someone decided that the high standards were "elitist". The "Class one" description was replaced with "Police Advanced" and standards began to decline. In the old Class One days is wasn't uncommon for 70% to fail the course. But now, at least in some areas, everyone passes. Standards are lower.

When Police driver training standards fall there are more crashes. When there are more crashes more people die. The response to rising crashes hasn't been to restore training standards, but to introduce restrictions on what Police drivers are allowed to do. Choices are made in control rooms, not on the ground. These changes may be for the better, but NOTHING can replace the skills and attitudes that the old system created.

Paul Smith, founder of the Safe Speed road safety campaign (www.safespeed.org.uk) explains: "The present incumbents of the Home Office and the Department for Transport have no idea how important the Police driver training programme was to UK road safety. It's far more than just Police crashes, because the valuable best practice techniques from the Police driver training programme have been widely incorporated in many aspects of UK road safety culture. The effect is subtle, but very important."

Paul continues: "The golden combination of best practice advice from the police driver training establishment and excellent science from the likes of the Transport Research Laboratory gave us in the UK the safest roads in the world. (And that was well over a decade before we had speed cameras!)"

"The Police driver training establishment based at Hendon was the only centre of driving excellence in the world for at least 4 decades. It should come as no surprise that the only country with a centre of driving excellence earned the safest roads in the world."

"But Hendon is now just a shadow of its former self. The skills pool has been broken up. Safe Speed demands a most urgent return to former standards. Road safety depends upon it."

Weird Freak!

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Anybody who knows this woman please call for the big yellow van and grab a straight jacket!

debbie weird freak

Debbie shouts "Jon Jon, do you like my wings? I'm a plane. I'm running down the runway but I can't take off"

Any psycho-analysts out there who can decypher this please get in touch!!

UPDATE!

Debbie's mum gave me a handful of old photographs last night and look what I found. It's all about evidence and you don't get much better than this. A photograph of Debbie many years ago displaying the characteristics of a WEIRD FREAK!!

Says it all...

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Think you're hard don't you!

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"I don't think, I know" Debbie just said...

Well the proof is above and there's no arguing with this my dear!! On the floor where you belong. Get used to it, you're going to be spending a lot of time down there from now on!

Trying to butter me up with hugs and kisses won't work either - honest...

This won't work either...

And looks like that will never work!!

Sleepy Head

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Guess who just got out of bed?

You got it. And what's even worse is a certain person pictured above made me oversleep. (Well it's not my fault is it? he he he)

Isn't it amazing that when I'm awake I'm prodded and poked to within an inch of my life but when I need a good kicking to encourage me out of bed it's just not there.

Here ends any chance of any sleep ever again!!

Cousin Itt

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Does this remind you of anybody???

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Ikkle Miss Hermit

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I never knew I had a hermit...

But here's the evidence!

Debbie, I'm emailing this to your mum and dad. OUCH that hurt!

I'm fragile!!

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Get off me woman, I'm fragile!!

Just got back from Paul & Kirsty's where we watched American Pie, had a couple of drinks and brought each other up to date with events. I never knew you could do that with an apple pie!!

Disgusting!

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To you too ducky. I don't know where it's been and I don't want to know!!

Hang on a minute, I do know where it's been - YUK!!

Yet another interesting night although we were both knackered so not a lot got done. Debbie spent most of the time on the floor after trying unsuccessfully to 'kick my head in'.

I'm learning fast that when Debbie says "I'm not doing anything, honest" it actually means "I'm plotting behind your back".

mmmmm well I can do that too so you've been warned nightmare!!