Mark Thinks He is God's Gift to Women!
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I've been at Salisbury Garage (The MOT Centre) on Walliker Street in Hull (Tel. 01482 500789) for most of the afternoon trying to isolate an engine management fault on a 1998 X16SZR Astra.
(Salisbury Garage vCard - right click link and save)
During my visit Mark, chief pen pusher, human telephone answering machine and exhaust gas analyser oil temperature probe wrecker, proclaimed he was sexy and god's gift to women.
Left to right: Bernie, Paul and Mark at Beach Garage.
(Click on the photo to enlarge. High resolution versions are available)
Well you can understand why I choked on my coffee, I mean, come on, who is he trying to kid? He worships Elvis for god sake and owns a brown Rover!
I feel so sorry for Mark's long suffering wife Lorraine, lovely woman, just married wrong but we all make mistakes and by hell did the midwife make a whopper all those post-war years ago when Mark popped out and she didn't squeeze those forceps half as much as she should have done.
Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for Mark, it's hardly all his fault, it's that bloody midwife! If only plastic had been discovered before Mark was born, his head would have made an ideal storage device for those plastic carrier bags without the child safe holes punched in the bottom.
At this point I would like to offer my support and understanding to Dave and Gary through this difficult time and if there's anything I can do to soften the pain you must be feeling please get in touch with the time and date of Mark's leaving party.
So on to the main reason for writing this very important, unbiased and factual article. Mark suggested I carried out an internet poll on my web site to confirm his sexiness. After getting back up following a period of unconsciousness after that remark I decided it would be the best way to prove once and for all that Mark isn't at all sexy or god's gift to anything but a long tailed rodent. I had considered posting Mark's photograph on mingers.com but had second thoughts as even they have limits.
Under no circumstances do I want to be accused of influencing the results but feel it's only fare that I release the results of a straw poll carried out last year. A number of female delivery drivers were asked the following question:
Do you think Mark is sexy?
Results:
40% - No
20% - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Don't be....... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (Both drivers had to be given glasses of water to assist their recovery)
10% - No response. (Was unable to control herself after the question was asked and therefore no response was possible)
30% - Yes. (Mr. H. voted 3 times)
In light of all the evidence and with reference to the photograph above (please take a good long look at it and think of Lorraine and their poor children) I ask all visitors to my web site to post a comment by clicking here either in support of Dave, Gary, Lorraine, the children and myself or in support of Mark (chief pen pusher, human telephone answering machine, exhaust gas analyser oil temperature probe wrecker, Elvis fan and brown Rover owner).
All results gathered will be tallied up when I think I have won and posters will be displayed on boarded up shop windows announcing a victory for common sense!
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Important Information
Mark has resorted to cheating and is encouraging, if not paying, members of his family to post messages in his support. I encourage all visitors to my web site to remember this when posting a comment.
Mark has resorted to cheating and is encouraging, if not paying, members of his family to post messages in his support. I encourage all visitors to my web site to remember this when posting a comment.
I've been at Salisbury Garage (The MOT Centre) on Walliker Street in Hull (Tel. 01482 500789) for most of the afternoon trying to isolate an engine management fault on a 1998 X16SZR Astra.
(Salisbury Garage vCard - right click link and save)
During my visit Mark, chief pen pusher, human telephone answering machine and exhaust gas analyser oil temperature probe wrecker, proclaimed he was sexy and god's gift to women.
Left to right: Bernie, Paul and Mark at Beach Garage.
(Click on the photo to enlarge. High resolution versions are available)
Well you can understand why I choked on my coffee, I mean, come on, who is he trying to kid? He worships Elvis for god sake and owns a brown Rover!
I feel so sorry for Mark's long suffering wife Lorraine, lovely woman, just married wrong but we all make mistakes and by hell did the midwife make a whopper all those post-war years ago when Mark popped out and she didn't squeeze those forceps half as much as she should have done.
Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for Mark, it's hardly all his fault, it's that bloody midwife! If only plastic had been discovered before Mark was born, his head would have made an ideal storage device for those plastic carrier bags without the child safe holes punched in the bottom.
At this point I would like to offer my support and understanding to Dave and Gary through this difficult time and if there's anything I can do to soften the pain you must be feeling please get in touch with the time and date of Mark's leaving party.
So on to the main reason for writing this very important, unbiased and factual article. Mark suggested I carried out an internet poll on my web site to confirm his sexiness. After getting back up following a period of unconsciousness after that remark I decided it would be the best way to prove once and for all that Mark isn't at all sexy or god's gift to anything but a long tailed rodent. I had considered posting Mark's photograph on mingers.com but had second thoughts as even they have limits.
Under no circumstances do I want to be accused of influencing the results but feel it's only fare that I release the results of a straw poll carried out last year. A number of female delivery drivers were asked the following question:
Do you think Mark is sexy?
Results:
40% - No
20% - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Don't be....... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (Both drivers had to be given glasses of water to assist their recovery)
10% - No response. (Was unable to control herself after the question was asked and therefore no response was possible)
30% - Yes. (Mr. H. voted 3 times)
In light of all the evidence and with reference to the photograph above (please take a good long look at it and think of Lorraine and their poor children) I ask all visitors to my web site to post a comment by clicking here either in support of Dave, Gary, Lorraine, the children and myself or in support of Mark (chief pen pusher, human telephone answering machine, exhaust gas analyser oil temperature probe wrecker, Elvis fan and brown Rover owner).
All results gathered will be tallied up when I think I have won and posters will be displayed on boarded up shop windows announcing a victory for common sense!
Related Articles:
posted by Jon Fry at 5:30:00 PM
17 Comments: Please Post a Comment
hi i agree with mark. he is one hell of a sexy guy.
I dont known about gods gift to women,but does he swing the other way.????
I've seen sexier piles. I'm going with Lorraine and the kids and supporting the 'Mark isn't sexy' campaign.
Mr anonymous you should have gone to SPEC SAVERS OR IS YOUR NAME MARK
It looks to me like Mark posted the first comment, that's very very naughty and just confirms he is scared of losing.
I feel sorry for is exellent BOSS DAVE and work mate GARY having to put up with his winging and sining along with Elvis.P.S all M.O.T £20 when you ask for SEXY MARK @ SALISBURY GARAGE 01482 500787
Well i gotta agree, Mark is one hell of...........a minger..lol. Sorry Mark
hi all.after looking very close at the photo,i have come to the conclusion that poor mark,must of been drop on is head when he was born,he is the most ugliest person around,
Well I arrived here looking for some info on electro hydraulic power steering systems and the first thing I noticed was Mark who I think I recognised.
Mark has striking similarities to someone I met in Fuel one night. Lovely long tongue and that caterpillar under his nose tickled me in all the right places.
You mention a brown Rover, well I'm telling you it wasn't his Rover which was brown that night!
Mark sexy? I don't think so but as for that young good looking bloke behind him now he is sexy!!
That reminds me I must ask Mark if he wants to renew a timing belt on a Landrover diesel for me but he will have to insert the locking pins though oh yes and remove them when he's finished!!!!!!
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
i was searching the net for some technical data and came across this site.all i can say is "wow"that guy is cute.the rest of you lot must be blind if you cannot see that.
i agree with pepol on this site he is sooooooo no sexy.lol. his kids r soo ebarrased of him! i support da mingers campaign!!
i was there when these two love birds been lorraine and mark where married,yes before the nappy changing and school run days,i have to go with mark he is sexy and hell there as in love as much now as the day i watched them marry. Go mark you sexy thing!!!!!
I agree with Mark.This I do for the reason that I want a good job doing on the car.(he always does a good job anyway).I was there with Juls also so we know him better than most.(SEXY).
After reading your very enjoyable article I felt I must add a comment...Well as for Mark being sexy...I'm sure he would be to the blind but then again they still have their sense of touch and would be able to feel all those imperfections that make up his face plus to be honest if I had a face like his, I'd teach my Ar*e to speak...sorry but it's true...Mark you have a face only a mother could love
SP xxx
Hi jon its big dave,who has to work with dave"THE BOSS" and mark.after reading the comments if he is gods gift to women i am the pope,i feel sorry for his wife and kids having to put up with his so called version of elvis and being driven around in a brown rover of all things. all i can say is MARK GET A REAL CAR AND STOP SINGING . ps he is not sexy.
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